So here it is. I just know this boy for more than three years. and still know him because we're in the same class. he is kind, always help our classmates who need something. we were a good friends. yeah. past tense. cause suddenly I just feel so empty and hurt. it begin when I knew he was single. don't have any girlfriend. I'm glad to know that. but then in our fourth year in college, he got a girlfriend. not so pretty I thought. but maybe she is kind as he is. they were completely together. and I was the only one get this wrong feeling.
I don't know. but I just feel like.. I just realize that I'm totally into him.
So at first, in our freshman year, because I thought he's so kind and so many friends in college are kind, because of their kindness, I got motivated to became great person. I totally tried hard to become a better person. it's not like I hate myself or I don't love the way I am. it's just because, if this change is turn me to became better, why not? since it's would made me love myself and not regret in the future that I tried to be kind as them. I learned a lot from them. from my friends and from him. since we're social human, tried to be social and be ourself at the same time. and that's it. he's one of the reason I became this better person. not as picky and harsh girl I was. but as kind and humble person I am now. and I proud and thank God for made a chance for me to change myself better than before.
and back to the main topic. because I want him, but he don't want me cause he got the girl, I just like a totally idiot now. sorry. not totally. the more I think, I'm thank that I know him, because I could become great person as I am now.
and finally this heartache gave me more lesson, that I should be better, not for him, but for myself instead.
So I can say that he's like a man, very kind and gentle and sometimes act like a kid boy. lol. or I can say he is a life saver for me.
thank you. for save me. for save me from my bad innerself. for made me motivate to change myself to become better person. thank you. and had a good life. with her. I sincerely hope for both of you. for your happiness.
well, it's like I just congratulate my ex in his wedding, didn't I? LOL.
see you in next post!
