I’m tired…
It’s been 2 years now…
I know I should move on, but… I miss him.
I know he’s not my type. I was just randomly picked him to be my boyfriend… but…
I think I still love him.
I can’t even picture myself with other guy. And I can’t even imagine him being with another girl.
I just wanna love him deeply… but, it’s just makes me tired and sad…
Told my friends, I didn’t wanna back to him, and all my friends said “don’t denied your feelings. You don’t have to body shamming him. If you love him, just love him. The more you denied, the more it feelings become stronger”.
And then I tried to accept these feelings.
Tried to accept I still love him… but, the feeling still the same and even keep stronger than before. I fucking miss him.
It’s just my imagination to make sure he is the one…
But, I can’t denied the reality that, he is already with another girl.
He just want me because I’m better than every other girl he ever dated before.
He just want me because my family background are looked so perfect.
He just want me… not because he love me.
Is it lust? Is it just craving for one night stand with him? Or…
I’m scared and tired…
